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The monster

There are things about myself that I’m not exactly proud of, but I want to tell a little bit about my darkest side and how I came out of it, in hopes that it will help someone who may be dealing with something similar.

Life catches up to you sometimes…..

As I got older, I began noticing a rage deep inside. Things could be going along fine, and suddenly I would erupt …. out of nowhere. I could feel it coming, and I knew I had nowhere to run. And suddenly, this unexplainable anger would take over. It ruined relationships, jobs, and completely destroyed me. The guilt was overwhelming, and this eventually turned into a DEEP depression.

I used to be a fun, happy energetic person who had lots of friends and an amazing relationship. So how did I get here? This unmotivated person who lacks ambition of any kind? Against my better judgment, I went to my doctor and asked for help. Of course, he put me on anti-depressants and anti-anxiety. For the first time in years I felt better…. I could sleep at night. But this deep anger would still present itself at times. Now what do I do?

Well, I got a tattoo sleeve. It changed my WORLD. I was introduced to Kratom and (with doubt that it would help) took my first dose. Suddenly I was transformed into MYSELF again! My anger and anxiety disappeared. I was happy again! So I started asking myself why I need pharmaceuticals?

It was a very scary thought…. if I come off of my pharmaceuticals, will this monster come back? I need something to lean on.


KRATOM. I slowly started weaning off of my medication and fully relied on Kratom. There were dark days, but they became fewer and more distant. It was a 6 montg struggle, but with Kratom on my side it was like I could fight. And it was a rough fight. But here I am on the other side, free of pharmaceuticals and have never felt better!

I am beyond thankful for a new start at life. I still feel darkness sometimes, and I continue to fight, getting better every day. I have a new chance at this thing we call “life”, and for the first time in a long time, I look forward to the future and enjoy my days.

There is a way. YOU CAN DO THIS.



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